How to Help Children Deal with Grief - Helpful Advice from Du Quoin, IL Funeral Homes
Funeral homes in Du Quoin, IL can be a great resource in helping you comfort the children in your life after the death of a loved one. Grief is a personal thing and children may not realize that what they are feeling is perfectly normal. Because death is hard on adults, it can be hard to recognize that a child is going through a tough time. A funeral director from one of the Du Quoin, IL funeral homes of your choosing can provide some great advice, counseling and even referrals in regards to grief counseling.
Coping Skills - What Funeral Homes in Du Quoin, IL Will Tell You
Did you know that young children as young as four months of age can feel grief? They may not recognize what they feel as grief, but they know something is definitely amiss. Toddlers, adolescents and teens all respond to grief in similar ways as adults. Some may exhibit behavior issues, have trouble sleeping and even use humor to mask what they are truly feeling. The best thing Du Quoin, IL funeral homes often recommend is to be tolerant of any acting out as well as respond with patience. Encourage kids to share how they are feeling and what they are thinking.
Giving Support during Funeral Activities and Services
Perhaps one of the most important things you can do is acknowledge and recognize the child's grief and possible fears of death they may have. Funeral homes in Du Quoin, IL often counsel adults to include children in the funeral planning and services. Giving them some kind of active role can help them with the bereavement process. However, a funeral director will advise you to expect some rather pointed and seemingly inappropriate questions as children often do not filter their thoughts.
Du Quoin, IL funeral homes will tell you that crying is healthy. It is important that you not act stoic and refrain from tears if you truly want to cry. Sometimes, children are comforted by the fact that the adults are having problems coping as well. And don't feel guilty if any of your explanations of your loved one's death makes the children in your life cry. Crying is a healing way to soothe an aching heart and soul.
During the planning stages of a funeral service, keep in mind that even if the deceased was the "life of the party" when alive, the service should not be as festive. Directors of funeral homes in Du Quoin, IL will tell you that a festive atmosphere could severely conflict with the children's understanding of the death process. What you can do is share a story or two that positively highlights the deceased so that those fond feelings can help a child better cope.
Du Quoin, IL Funeral Homes Advice for after Funeral Activities
Depending on the relationship the child in your life had with the deceased, choose an appropriate gift that might make them feel better. Spend plenty of time with them as the extra attention can help in the bereavement process. The directors at funeral homes in Du Quoin, IL often have contacts within the community or even have a counselor in their employ that can assist with grief counseling. It is prudent to seek outside help if you feel that the children in your life need help in dealing with grief.
Teenagers are especially prone to angst and they may be the most susceptible to problems during bereavement. Hormones and puberty may alter their perception of a loved one's death. Teens may not be able to talk effectively with their peer group about death. As the adult, Du Quoin, IL funeral homes and their directors will advise you to keep an eye on the teens in your life as they may turn to negative influences such as drugs, alcohol or even run with a bad crowd to block feelings of grief.
Funeral Homes in Du Quoin, IL Advise What NOT to Do
When explaining death to younger children, do not hide the death of a loved one and especially do not tell them that the deceased is merely sleeping in the coffin. Directors in Du Quoin, IL funeral homes will typically tell you that it is important that you do not shy away from explanations about the death and how the deceased died.
Many say you should not force grown-up behavior onto a child. Saying that they have to be a "big girl or boy" places them in a tough spot and they feel they cannot be sad. Funeral homes in Du Quoin, IL and elsewhere also suggest that you do not to keep them from crying or tell them that they have to be strong. As the adult, being strong is your job as it is the best thing that can help children through the bereavement process. However, do not confuse being strong with being stoic. It is all right and even beneficial for children to see the adults crying and showing emotion.
Du Quoin, IL Funeral Homes Tell You to Be Honest with Kids
Take advantage of all the advice that the funeral director gives. This state is only one of eight in the country that requires you to use the services of a funeral director within funeral homes in Du Quoin, IL. Why not benefit from all the information possible, particularly about comforting children? They will tell you to be honest with children. Express to them that it is normal to feel guilty or at fault when a loved one dies. Explain to kids that they are not to blame and it is o.k. to miss them and feel sad. Du Quoin, IL funeral homes will tell you that the bottom line is to simply be there for the kids in your life as your presence is the best thing for their bereavement.